


A Good Partner

by pizzabender1 (jorlau)



Series: The Psychic and his Captain [1]
Category: Magic: The Gathering
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Psychological Trauma, past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 22:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17212094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jorlau/pseuds/pizzabender1
Summary: Jace Beleren is not a good partner. He knows this. He's just waiting for Vraska to figure it out.





	A Good Partner

**Author's Note:**

> I was craving sappy fluff about these two and I believe the kids these days say "my hand slipped"?
> 
> Important disclaimers:
> 
> 1) This story is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.
> 
> 2) I realize this story could be read as Liliana-bashing. It's really not meant that way; I love Liliana as a character. It just happens to deal with the negative consequences of her actions, specifically her treatment of Jace when they were together.

Jace Beleren is not a good partner. He knows this.

He remembers how hard he tried, with Liliana: the little favors he did for her, met with indifference or amusement; the attempts to show affection through words, with mockery; physical displays of affection, with rejection or tolerant contempt.  _Needy boy_ ,  she called him when he showed how much he wanted her approval, and he tried to need less.  _Showoff_ ,  she said when he hoped to impress her, and he learned to stop telling her the interesting things he had done or learned recently, to be quiet about the new spells he experimented with.  _Impatient boy_ ,  when they made love, and he fought to keep from doing anything,  _anything_ ,  until she told him he might. He tried, but it was never enough. He wasn’t good enough.

He still tries, with Vraska. He’s a different man now, and Vraska is not Liliana; he knows that on Ixalan, once he remembers who Liliana is. As his friend, Vraska likes it when he makes her tea, a small gesture of  _I care about you_ that Liliana would have accepted as her due. Vraska praises his skill as an illusionist, thanks him for the emotional support he offers, offers him the same when he in turn is in pain. She never calls him  _boy_. She calls him things like  _incredible_ and  _remarkable_ ,  and she trusts him with her memories without hesitation. Vraska believes in Jace, and he loves that.

Vraska doesn’t find him needy, or a showoff, or impatient – as a friend. He’s still worried, when they go on their first few dates and their relationship shifts gradually from  _friend_ to  _friend and romantic partner_ ,  that there will come a point when she, like Liliana, wants more than he can be.  He tries to be careful, to keep himself controlled as he did for Liliana and hope that this time, maybe it will be enough.

“Thank you, Jace,” Vraska says, and smiles as she accepts the tea he made for her. He can’t help smiling briefly back, feeling a thrill both at having succeeded in pleasing her and at the way she says his name like it’s an endearment, like _Jace_ means something special and precious. (It actually means “warrior spirit” in a dead language, back on Vryn, which he’s always found a little frustrating. He wonders if there’s a language spoken on some other plane where it has a different, more suitable meaning. Maybe someday he’ll discover one.)

“Nice work, Jace,” she says, admiration in her voice, when he tells her he’s figured out an important piece of the latest mystery facing them. He flushes, pleased and embarrassed, and decides not to tell her that it wasn’t as hard as he’d thought it would be, in case she thinks he’s bragging – after all, she didn’t see the inconsistency he spotted, the final clue that brought it all together, and he doesn’t want to imply that he’s especially observant. He settles for simply thanking her and trying to act like it’s not a big deal that she’s looking at him like he’s done something truly remarkable.

“You’re so sweet,” she tells him when he carefully hands her a rare history book he picked up on his last planeswalk, and her smile is radiant. _Sweet_ is one of the words Liliana might have considered using for him, but it would have been dripping with condescension or lightly scornful, coming from her. From Vraska it is warm, affectionate, sincere. It feels wonderful and terrifying.

He fights to keep it in balance: make sure she knows he appreciates her kindness, but not show how desperately he wants it. It’s even harder than it was with Liliana.  The longer he spends with Vraska, the more he slips up: lets himself gaze at her with open adoration, brings her little gifts and treats, and otherwise does things Liliana would call “making a fool of himself” in hope of earning more of the little rewards that Vraska is so generous with. Vraska seems to like his behavior, which only makes it harder to keep his feelings under control.

The first major change comes when Vraska catches him looking at her wistfully, wanting to ask if he can hold her hand but not daring to – he  _knows_ she doesn’t like being touched,  so of course she’ll say no – and a strange understanding flashes across her face.  He tenses, waiting for her to turn away, or worse, to laugh at him for being sentimental. Instead, she hesitates for only a moment before wordlessly reaching out to pull him into a tight hug, and he’s so surprised and delighted that he clings to her. When he realizes what he’s doing and pulls away he can feel her eyes on him. He hastily starts a conversation about a topic he hopes will be interesting enough to distract her and wonders if this is how normal people feel around him when they find out he can see their thoughts: vulnerable, self-conscious.

Vraska greets him with a kiss on the cheek the next time they meet. He soon suspects that she’s going out of her way to touch him more: laying her hand briefly on his arm, slinging an arm around his shoulders almost casually, even on one memorable occasion stroking his cheek with a tendril of her hair. He knows for sure when she arrives for a date and apologizes for not hugging him, explaining that she can’t handle physical contact today. He works up the courage, a few days later, to finally ask about the hand-holding, and the tender look on her face as she threads their fingers together makes his heart beat faster. He wonders when this will stop, when she’ll figure out what he’s really like and pull away.

Over the next few weeks, he begins to feel paranoid. He wishes he dared ask to read her mind, because he can’t believe that she genuinely means all the nice things she’s saying to him, or about him. He considers that she might just be in a good mood, but that can’t be it; she’s not having a particularly good month, as he knows from the frustrations she expresses in their conversations. Still, she seems to find everything Jace does worthy of appreciation, and makes a point of asking him about his thoughts and feelings. She always asks about his life, congratulating him on his successes and showing sympathy about every unpleasant thing he’s experienced recently. (Except in his love life; they haven’t talked about how confusing that is, because he’s not about to confront her and demand to know why she’s treating him so well.) He escalates in turn, bringing her new varieties of tea and rare mushrooms and books he thinks will interest her, and she rewards him with beaming smiles and enthusiastic thanks. He starts to feel bolder, though he still can’t shake the nagging worry that the other shoe is bound to drop.

Their first attempt at physical intimacy goes wrong almost immediately when Vraska sees Jace’s hands trembling as he waits for her permission to touch her – he’s not going to risk initiating contact, not when he’s seen her react to an unexpected clap on the shoulder – and she purrs something about how eager he is, and he remembers Liliana’s disapproving voice saying the same words and panics. Vraska is confused, and he apologizes over and over, and she tries to soothe him, and at some point he realizes he’s crying.

They do fall asleep together, eventually, her arms wrapped protectively around him.  It’s not what either of them planned, and when Jace awakens to find Vraska gone he panics again, sure that he’s finally ruined everything. His fear only subsides when he leaves the bedroom and sees her walking towards him, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands. She hands it to him, and he takes it automatically, stammering his thanks as he tries to figure out what to say to her. He didn’t make contingency plans for any of this, and he’s angry with himself about that now.

“I was just coming to tell you breakfast’s ready,” she says, as though he didn’t disgrace himself last night, as though they are just a normal couple having a normal morning together.

“Thank you,” he says, and follows her to where, sure enough, she has served up a plateful of food for him, a large breakfast by Ravnican standards. He feels slightly queasy, but it smells good, and she’s watching him carefully, so he sits down and eats slowly, focusing on the coffee more than anything else.

“I’m sorry about last night,” she says after a short pause. “I knew there was a risk of bringing up... bad memories, for either of us, and I should have made sure I understood how to avoid that for you. I was overconfident, and I hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“It was my fault,” Jace mumbles, feeling his face grow hot. “I know you wouldn’t...” He trails off, trying to figure out how to put into words the thing that made him willing to take the risk, that made his failure feel still more shameful.

“I know,” she says gently. “You know you can trust me not to be cruel to you. But you’re still not used to it, and sometimes knowing isn’t enough. Believe me, I understand.”

She does, he knows. She’s not like Nissa, whose aversion to touch is born of empathic sensitivity; Vraska shies away from it because she learned, years ago, that physical contact meant pain. But he feels a surge of strange feelings when she says the word  _cruel_ ,  because unlike the unjust beatings she suffered, he’s used to thinking of his pain in more complicated terms: he and Liliana had a difficult relationship. She might have been deceitful, but he had been a willing sap; she might have been unkind, but he had been needy and she had given him much more than she had to. Now, hearing Vraska say that Liliana had been  _cruel_ ,  he feels somehow like everything is suddenly different, and he’s surprised by how much  _better_ it is.

Vraska’s still watching him. “I know I might not be the right person for this,” she says softly, "but if you need to talk about... those experiences, I’m here for you.”

Jace nods, slowly, and carefully eats a roll, giving himself time to decide how to respond. “I think... I do need to. Not just with you, but with you, because... I have a lot to learn. Or unlearn. I’ve been... terrified.”

“I noticed,” Vraska’s tone is teasing, but in a way that suggests she finds his paranoia endearing, not ridiculous.

“I know,” he admits. “You’ve been so kind... I don’t know why I couldn’t let it go.”

“Old habits die hard,” she says. “It’s all right.” She pauses, and a frown crosses her face. “I haven’t been exceptionally kind; you know that, right? It’s just... trying to be a good partner to you, like you are to me. Nothing unusual.”

_A good partner_.  She says it like it’s a simple fact, like of course Jace is a good partner, like the question is only whether  _Vraska_ is. There’s still a part of him that can’t quite believe it, but he recognizes that part as the one that’s been causing him so much needless worry and decides, this time, he isn’t going to listen to it. Isn’t going to let himself be bound by his past, not when he  _knows_ that he can choose who he becomes, when he can choose to at least try to be what Vraska already believes he is.

Instead, he smiles at her, and holds out his hand hopefully. She looks at it for a moment, then shakes her head.

“Sorry,” she says. “I’m not up for touching this morning.”

“That’s all right,” he says, and means it. There will be plenty of other times to hold her hand.


End file.
